Blank Paper
by tk-fan-4ever
Summary: Th fanfic. I can't decide whether or not to finish this. and i would like a second opinion. Please? thanx R&R     Also i want to know if i got the characters down right. I'd really apreciate the help


Twirling in _**incomprehendable**_ rhythm I whirled into his arms he tilted me so far back my hair touched the floor I came up twisting in his arms so my back was to him and we danced.

His black eyes were alight with pleasure. I could feel it as though it were mine.

His hands strayed down wards grazing my arm sending shivers racing through me, his arms wrapped around me from behind.

I gave my heart to him, Right then I knew he was the one for me.

My life was like a dream and then it came crashing down around me as I walked through the door there he was in our bed with someone else. I could hear my heart breaking could feel the tears on my cheeks could see the beautiful blonde girl with him could see the stricken expression on his face.

I felt it all yet didn't actually register what had happened. I walked to my dresser the one we had shared for so long it wasn't mine anymore.

I walked out of the room got my suitcase from the top shelf of are closet got my coats, my shoes, threw them in a bag.

I was moving feverishly I needed to be gone from this place away from him when I broke apart.

I went back in our, his bedroom I emptied all my cloths into my bag grabbed my few treasures sprawled across the dresser top I dropped them into my bag and then I ran for the door I jerked my coat pulled my shoes on then I was running the stairs were in front of me I just had to get out of there I ran down them my suitcase twisted sideways and I tumbled down 3 flights of stairs I got back up limping but I didn't feel any pain I looked down and saw my leg and arm had a red substance on them I reached down and pressed on the ever widening spread of red It didn't hurt .I ignored it and kept going I didn't slow down now i was running down the stairs in an awkward limping gait.

I stumbled and felt myself falling again.

I hit the ground hard and couldn't breath for a second .When I got my breath back I staggered to my feet and kept going I didn't know why it didn't hurt unless the pain inside was so bad that anything else compared to that was nothing .That wasn't a very pleasant thought and I kept going. My throat felt like it does when you're swimming and you accidentally swallow water. I coughed and couldn't stop. My hand came away covered in the same red substance that was on my legs and arms I couldn't quite remember what it was I gasped for air doubled over as suddenly the image of us dancing came to mind I couldn't seem to stand my legs were giving out I saw the ground coming towards me but I landed on my knees and didn't hit it.

I heard a small sound like a kitten mewling and felt something build within my chest my sobs were so strong that I didn't think my body would be able to sustain against them.

I tried to hold them in clenching my jaw so tight it must have hurt. The sound didn't stop I started rocking and then I couldn't really remember why I was crying did I hurt myself? I couldn't remember. I saw the ground moving towards me or was I moving towards it I couldn't tell and this time I hit it.

As my eyes were closing I heard an exclamation I couldn't understand it, It sounded like gibberish and as I strained to understand what was being said I felt hands on my arms and then some more gibberish I couldn't breath any more I felt that strange drowning feeling and coughed I saw red a second before I passed out for real.

I yawned and sighed I was pleasantly warm I rolled over and rested my head on the warm pillow this pillow was rather small and hard I opened my eyes and blinked sleepily I wasn't laying on a pillow but someone's legs there were soo tiny! I reached up and poked one it was like bone with a thin layering of skin.

I looked up and right into two huge charmingly slanted brownish eyes I starred his face if that's what he was looked like it was made out of porcelain his eyes were lined in thick black eyeliner his hair was black and as we passed under a light of some sort I saw he also had an eyebrow ring.

I starred at his face some more and felt the intense urge to feel that porcelain like skin I stretched my hand up and stopped a few inches from his face I was afraid he'd snap at me I didn't know why but I was scared of snapping angry people .His lips turned up in a charming smile making him look if possible more doll like I looked at him unsure if it was a mean smile or not it didn't look mean but it barely reached his eyes. I made up my mind and closed the distance laying my hand on his cheek.

I jerked back in shock his skin was smooth and cool. He really was a doll. I put both hands on his cheeks trying to warm them up I could feel the worry creeping up to the surface knew he could probably see it but it scared me that he was so doll like .What if everyone was dolls like him! What if I was I started and felt my face it felt normal except it was all wet I looked at my finger's it looked like water I put my finger on my tongue. It looked like water but it was incredibly salty. I scrunched up my nose.

The boy starred at me and then pulled a piece of white paper out of a little box next to him and looking at me as if gauging my reaction he carefully wiped my cheeks.

I watched as he smiled carefully it wasn't as fake as his other smile was but it still was real enough.

I put my hand on his mouth and felt how it turned up I put my hand over my mouth and copied him as best I could. It felt strange as though my cheeks were moving on there own. I took my hand away from my mouth so that the boy could see smiles were something to share. I felt safer with him now even if he a doll person he wasn't an evil doll.

I patted his cheek and told him in a whisper, "You're a good doll."He looked like he wanted to laugh and his eyes looked happy for the first time.

Seeing the doll person happy made me happy and I snuggled up against him and closed my eyes.

I figured I could ask him tomorrow why my arms and legs felt strange like they didn't want to obey me.

My doll person smelled good I breathed in deeply and curled up even closer then before. My doll person was singing under his breath and rubbing my back it felt good but when he reached the middle of my back there was in odd spasm like my muscles were protesting I pushed it to the back of my mind and yawned.

We weren't moving anymore and I was hoisted up by a big burly man who had on a jacket that said he was security. I looked over his shoulder at my doll person. He smiled reassuringly at me. Wow! My doll person was tall he was up to the security guys shoulder so he was level with me.

I leaned my head over the edge of the security guy's shoulder and peered down at the ground to see if my doll person had stilts or really high shoes on. Nope, he had on flat bottomed unlaced boots on.

I looked at my doll person again and let my mouth move up at the corners. I stretched my hand out and felt his hair it was smoothed back and looked sorta like a roosters comb just flatter.

My doll person looked surprised when I felt his hair but I just allowed my face to go blank again and patted his porcelain cheek. This made him smile, so I smiled back at him.

We went through some whirling doors and inside a little room that made me feel like my stomach had been left behind.

But my doll person seemed to be fine so I figured it couldn't be that bad. My doll person was talking in a strange language to the big man and I couldn't understand them. I was confused so I reached up to the burly man and tugged on the front of his shirt he looked down at me in surprise; I moved my mouth and made a questioning face at him. My doll person told me "Toby can't speak English. And we were talking about where you were going to sleep."I looked at him and widened my eyes as if there stupidity shocked me."With my doll of course." I told them this in a duh voice but they looked even more confused than before I felt bad he was just a doll after all."You're my doll." I told him calmly pointing my finger at his chest to emphasize.

"Aww."His confused look left and I decided I didn't like it when he was unsure.

The big guy and my doll person took me to my doll person's room and my doll person ran in ahead of us and I heard stuff being moved around and then he told the guy in the other language and from his hand jesters I gathered the bed was ready.

The big guy took me into a bedroom that smelled like my doll person and laid me on the bed.

There was a mound of black clothing lying on the end and the covers were pulled back.

I stretched and smiled at the big guy. He smiled back. He wasn't beautiful like my doll person but he wasn't ugly either. He left pulling the door on his way out. I could hear my doll person and him talking softly in the kitchen it sounded like, I could hear pot's clattering the sound muted by the shut door and the voices droning softly. I woke up a little bit later when the door to the bedroom opened softly and my doll person came in, he tiptoed across the room to the end of the bed feeling around in the stack of cloths.

"Doll person?"He jumped startled by my voice I suppose "Were are you going?"My voice sounded little and scared. My doll person came over to the edge of my bed and leaned down he made sure I was covered up he carefully perched on the edge the bed barely moved when he sat on it."I 'm going to go sleep with my brother so you can have the bed."He told me. I sat up quickly nearly unseating him and causing my head to spin, "Dolls can have brothers?" I asked him excited "Can we go see him now? Please?"I begged looking up at him and making my eyes huge and innocent. I saw his unsure expression evaporate and I hopped out of bed. Or rather tried to as soon as my feet touched the floor my legs buckled and I would have fallen on my face except that my doll person caught me.

"What's wrong with me?"I asked puzzled I pulled up my pant leg and surveyed my leg it was all crusty and red I recognized it. It looked just like all the red stuff that was all over my arms I rolled up the sleeves of the black jacket I was now wearing someone must have put it on me well I was asleep I looked my arms up and down were there wasn't crusty red stuff they were an odd shade of purple almost blue color.

My doll person cringed like looking at all that stuff on me caused him pain. Pain. Why didn't it hurt? I wacked my arm against the side of the bed. My doll person grabbed my arm before I could do it again."Why are you hurting yourself?"He sounded furious and I quickly looked down hiding the tears I could feel welling up in my eyes. "But it didn't hurt." My voice was small and wobbly. My doll person sighed and then he sat down beside and wrapped his arms around my shoulders."I'm sorry I yelled just you scared me. Promise me you won't do that again?"I picked my head up off his chest and rapped my arms tightly around his tiny frail feeling body."Of course beautiful doll."I said this and wondered again what a dolls brother would look like. I decided I'd ask him."Beautiful doll, what does your brother look like? Is he porcelain like you?"

My doll person giggled it was a cute sound and I yawned into his bony little chest.

He leaned back against the pillows and pulled the covers over us."You'll get to meet him tomorrow. So you can see for yourself."I could still hear an echo of his earlier giggle in his voice. It was a pleasant sound. I hugged him tightly and then loosened my arms so that my frail doll would be more comfortable."Gute nacht." I heard his voice murmur into my hair seconds before I fell asleep safely rapped in his skinny little arms.

I woke to the sun shining in my eyes. I didn't know where I was for a couple minutes. I heard the shower and someone singing and remembered my doll person.

I stretched and lay in bed content to laze away what appeared to be a beautiful day. I heard the shower stop and my doll person walked in through the door still humming and rapped in only a towel.

I sat up and starred at him."Beautiful doll, could you come over here?"I was amazed at how his entire body was that flawless pearly white. I could see the outlines of his ribs and I felt them."Beautiful doll, you're too skinny."He giggled his cute little giggle and I looked up at him."What's funny?"I asked honestly puzzled. He seemed to be amused by me."Um nothing..."He covered his mouth with his hand to hide another giggle. I pulled his hand away."Why are you doing that? You have a cute sound."His eyes were seriously bright like he wanted to burst into deep from the belly laugh.

I heard the door to my doll person's room open and I looked over his shoulder a boy had come in and had gone into my doll persons kitchen and I heard the fridge door open and shut.

"Hey Bill, you awake?" I glanced around looking for this Bill person and then realized he was talking about my doll person."Beautiful doll, is this your brother?" I looked at him questioningly and he smiled and nodded.

"Tom could you come here?" My doll person's voice held a question as if he weren't sure about his brother meeting me.

The doll person's brother came to the open door of the bedroom drinking a bottled water. His eyes widened to an amazing fish like look and he choked on his water coughing.

My doll person hurried over to him and patted him on the back until he stopped coughing. I don't really think patting peoples backs when there coughing actually does anything but I think it made my doll person happy to be needed by his brother who he obviously adored so I didn't say anything. Besides what was the point?

Tom for that was what the doll person's brother was named didn't stop starring at me not once except to tell Bill he was fine.

He now walked towards me. And extended his hand, "Hi, I'm Tom, Bill's brother." He told me smiling. He had a nice smile and I automatically smiled back. I looked over at my doll person and then back at Tom."Beautiful doll you and your brother sure don't look alot alike do you."

I reached up my other hand and patted at Tom's face and felt his hair. It felt neat and silky almost just like my doll person's hair felt.

I saw Tom look questioningly over at my doll person when I called him that. And there was a light not unlike my doll persons in his eyes.

"You should let it out, Otherwise your both going to compusht."I told them making a movement in the air like something was blowing up.

Tom looked kinda uncomfortable."Um Bill lets go to kitchen."Bill looked startled he'd been watching me the whole time almost as intently as Tom had been now he grabbed a handful of black cloths with chains dangling from it and ran for the bathroom "First let me get dressed!"

As he pulled the shirt over his head one hand he was tugging his pants up with the other.

Tom was tapping his foot impatiently."Are you mad at my doll person?"My voice was really small again and I twisted my hands together.

I noticed a little silver band on the middle finger of my left hand but thought nothing of it."What?" Tom voice showed he was startled and he had stopped tapping his foot I was glad and stopped twisting my fingers."Well you sounded so angry and my doll person didn't do anything wrong. Is he in trouble cause he was nice to me?" My voice was questioning and I saw the look Tom's it looked almost like he wanted to laugh and rage at the same time. He told me" No that's not why I was mad." Was, he'd used past term and I felt a smile creeping up my face."Tom."I tested his name on my tongue and then asked "Tom, why can't I remember where I got these?"I pulled the blankets away from my now bare legs they looked even worse then I remembered and I looked up from surveying them to see Tom's face had turned a sickly white color and he walked quickly to the bathroom there was a hurried conversation in that other language and then my doll person came out of the bathroom one eye had full black liner and the other one was only halfway done. I giggled and was confused when they didn't look any happier."How'd you get these?"Bill's voice sounded frantic and I looked up him surprised "You don't know but I was with you I thought you'd know."Bill shook his head "No I found you passed out when I was shopping and you like coughed up blood and it scared me so I had Toby pick you up and then we brought you back here."

I looked down "Does that mean I don't have any thoughts?"I sounded little again and my voice did that wobbly thing I didn't like.

Tom stared at me "You're not pretending are you?" He was looking at me closely and I didn't understand why. Now my doll person looked at me weird to I looked in between them."Why would I do that?" I asked truly confused. Tom stared at me strangely "Were Tom and Bill Kaulitz." he said it like I should know them or something. I tried to remember anything about them but nothing came to mind I shook my head and looked up at them."I don't know you. I don't think. Should I?"

My doll person looked relieved and Tom looked, I don't know, no different."See Tom she wasn't."My doll person sounded happyish now I smiled happily up at Tom.

"I'm Bill by the way."I heard my doll person call from the bathroom. Tom grinned roguishly at me "Why'd you call him a doll?" He asked his grin wasn't unfriendly it simply looked like it was something from the real him."Because he's a doll." I told him like it was the simplest thing ever."Ahh...Well then you should call him Billa." A mischievous glint in his eye had joined the roguish grin and he looked downright evil.

Billa it sounded like what a princess would be named and it would fit my doll person wonderfully.

I motioned for Tom to come up to the bed again and then I wrapped my arms around his waist "Thanks Tomi you named my doll for me!"

Tomi hmm that was almost as good as Billa I decided I'd call Tom Tomi from now on.

I heard my doll person pushing things around on the counter top and peered around Tomi to see what he was doing I couldn't quite see around the door frame."Beautiful doll person!"I called in my medium voice."I've decided to name you Billa!" I heard how happy my voice sounded and that made me even happier but it was Tomi's strangely innocent face that met me when I smiled up at him and I knew why as soon as Billa stuck his head around the corner.

There was a mixture of anger, surprise and embarrassment.

"What's wrong Billa? Your face got all funny."He glared at Tomi who gazed back at him innocently, and smiled at me."Nothing." I bounced up and down on the big soft bed.

Billa popped back in the bathroom. Tomi was smirking a strangely charismatic crooked smile. I smiled up at him. A chunk of curly black hair fell in front of my eyes. I brushed in impatiently behind my ear.

It felt gross all crusty. I wrinkled my nose and held a strand up in between my fingers."Ewwwwww."I dropped in back onto my shoulder."Can I have a bath, please?"I asked Tomi politely.

Tomi looked surprised for a couple seconds and then he got that evil glint in his eyes, "Sure, Billa will take care of it."He patted my head.

I felt as if my body was really heavy and I really wanted to lower myself into a tub full of deliciously warm water and let the steam erase all my worries.

This was a strangely familiar feeling as though I'd done it before. I stared at the ceiling thinking trying to get past the wall in my mind.

My heart tugged. And I felt the strange twist as though I'd been stabbed.

I stopped trying and clutched my chest tightly. The pain subsided and I sighed in relief.

"You okay?"Tomi was watching me warily."Of course."I nodded. My cheek muscles resisted when I tried to smile at him so I figured they must be worn out from smiling too much. So I told Tomi. "I can't smile no more cause my face is tired."I nodded my head again firmly as though that would strengthen what I had just said.

Billa rushed through the room digging through piles of black cloths looking for something and talking rapidly in a different language on the phone.

I watched him for a few seconds it was making my head spin. So I lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling some more.

This time thinking about nothing important.

Billa got done on the phone and still searched through mounds clutching the phone in one hand. He stopped suddenly I could tell 'cause the rattling of chains and various other items stopped and his face popped into view right over mine.

"I just realized I don't know your name."He sounded shocked at himself for not asking. Hmm I thought for a second searching through my mind like Billa in his cloths trying to remember. Then it came to me."Colista! I remembered!"I clapped my hands in excitement, sitting up."Hey Billa?"

Billa was still processing my name."Hmm?" I watched him closely making sure he was listening to what I was saying."Tomi said that you'd help me take a bath."Billa's expression was funny, it was bright red and his eyes were huge, "What?"I jerked back. Was he angry?

Tomi was grinning so I didn't think so but I wasn't sure."Sorry."I whispered for some reason the thought of leaving Billa made my heart beat faster and get post stress pangs.

Billa jumped forward toward me and I jumped back startled."It's okay. Its okay," He repeated himself in a calmer voice rubbing my back and staring at me with me with big worried eyes."I'm not mad."He assured me. I gave him a really small smile barely there at all but Billa looked relieved.

"I'll get a maid to help you, okay?"I nodded. For some reason the thought of someone being mad at me sent spears of fear racing through my body.

They left after that and were gone all day. The maid came and helped me take a bath she was a plump friendly middle aged woman and she made me feel comfortable. We talked for a really long time and she made really good smelling things to eat. But when I tried to swallow I ended up vomiting. I was so upset over the fact that the nice lady Helen would hate me now that I almost started crying.

But then she assured me that it was natural for me not to be able to eat anything yet, I was after all sick.

And then she was off work and went home to her own children. And I was all alone. Helen had brought me a chair with wheels on the bottom so that I could sorta move around so I wasn't confined to bed anymore.

I was curious, could I really not eat? I headed to the kitchen and tried to eat a bite of bread and barely made it to the bathroom in time and this time I vomited up that red substance and alot of it.

When I finally stopped I blacked out for a second and felt so ill that I went back to bed.

I was sleeping and didn't get to see Billa before I fell asleep. My dreams were awful I can't even remember what they were about all I could remember when I woke up was the pain. Pain so awful that I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Scream and scream until I couldn't scream any more.

"Shhh," A calming voice was murmuring soothingly in my ear. I sobbed into Billa's arms so unspeakably sad. With every beat of my heart a painful wave washed over me.

When I finally feel back to sleep it was getting light outside. I felt bad now Billa didn't get his sleep because of me."I'm sorry."I hiccupped my eyes closing."Shh, go to sleep." My eyes slid shut and the last thing I heard was Billa's voice singing what sounded like a lullaby in that other language.

A bright light shone directly into my eyes. I swatted it away. It wouldn't leave I cracked my eyes and was confronted by the mid morning sun

For future reference "My heart felt funny like it was breaking."Billa i hurt."I got off the floor and curled up against him on the bed the pain in my chest was starting to lessen. Billa's worried expression forced me to smile at him "don't worry it goes away when i sit with you" i told him calmly this pain had started happining when ever i watched dancing or a romantic movie espicially when I saw couples kissing and what not.

Name colista.


End file.
